Extremely Fustrated With Life Right Now

Getting really tired of battling uphill for everything.

Wife applied for disability 8 years ago in Missouri. We fought for 6 years and got denied every time. We were supposed to have a Federal hearing and our lawyer dropped us for some unknown reason. Thus, we never got to that hearing. Now that we are living in Iowa, she applied again a couple of months ago. We have an advocate now that is supposed to be assisting in the process. We finalized all the paperwork last week and were told it could be 5-6 months before we got a determination from the state. She got a denial letter in the mail this morning. Called the advocate, emailed her a PDF of the denial letter. Now we find out they are going back on her Missouri claim and there is nothing more they can do and she will not receive any disability benefits. This woman worked for over 30 years until her seizures became so frequent and severe that working was no longer a safe option for her. She paid her taxes. She has paid into Social Security. Now they want to give her nothing. But these Government ASSHOLES will hand a check to every hairy dicked Tom that comes wandering across the border???

I hate our government.

In the meantime, our daughter had a dentist appointment yesterday. She had several very traumatic experiences with dentists as a kid and as a result, she has a high level of anxiety when dealing with them. They found 18 cavities that need filled as well as other issues. Fortunately, the dentist she saw recognized the level of her anxiety and realized there was no way the work could be safely done without her being completely sedated. UNFORTUNATELY, the closest dental practice that does this is at the Iowa City University Hospital and they are booked out 2 years in advance. This kid has more holes in her teeth than a block of Swiss cheese. She can’t wait for 2 years!

Add to that, my 6 month evaluation is coming up at work and I have no idea how that is going to go. At my last monthly evaluation, I was told I needed to start improving my work or they would have to look at other alternatives for me. Great. So now possibly my job is on the line as well.

Granted, I know I have a lot of things better than others. I shouldn’t complain.
But I am really starting to wonder when enough is enough.


Hang tough brother, just know there are people who care. the government has frustrated a lot of folks lately and it’s not going to get better until a shift change in the white house.

Were here for you if you need to rant. everyone needs to from time to time.


wow, that is really rough on both accounts, the disability thing just sounds as though you need a tougher attorney involved, there are specialist in that field and the longer it takes the larger the back pay she receives, keep at it

Your daughter on the other hand , you may need to work with her, be tough, explain what dentures are and how she don’t want them, maybe get her some Valerian root for the anxiety, maybe find a different general dentist, there are some good dentist out there that can likely make her feel comfortable

C’mon, they haven’t even tried


On the disability front call you congressman and senators office.
As for the dentist almost all bigger citys have dentists that will twilight patients. Or a couple of Valium before the appointment.


Is there dental school near your daughter? Often you can get greatly discounted services for basic stuff and even bridges etc.

Hang in there and get a new attorney.


On the disability front, we have been through 2 lawyers and this so called “advocate.” We have written Congressmen, Senators and Representatives. No joy. We get responses basically saying “sorry about your luck but we can’t do anything.” Useless bastards. Wife has more or less resigned herself to taking early retirement when she turns 62 next year. Not a choice we wanted but it is what it is.

The dentist thing is really touchy. Kid had some REALLY bad experiences with dentists as a child and it’s given her a serious phobia. This isn’t a thing that trying to scare her with dentures will fix. The dentist she saw yesterday was probably one of the most mild mannered people I’ve ever met and even he couldn’t get the kid to relax. Iowa City is the closest that could do the sedated procedure. As I said, they are 2 years out for an appointment. Next closest place would be an overnight trip across the state. We are also talking about a heavy valium dose as an alternative. Hopefully the kid will give that a shot before needing to run clear across the state.

I dunno. I’m just over all of it. Tired of getting almost to the top of the hill just to get pushed back down to the bottom. Seems like my life is one issue after another. One gets fixed and two more pop up. Pretty sure the universe hates me.


I’m praying you get a win soon, even a small one to get the ball rolling. I wish I had better words of encouragement but the main things I know to do are take a breath, pray and hold on. It grows my patience but pushes the breaking point a little farther out each time.


Praying for you and your family too Willie.


Prayers thing work out. You have a lot on your plate.

FYI Valium is what they gave me when I was run over by a Cadillac and had to get the “Frankenstein face” fixed.

Hate -despise + want a reset BIG TIME


That’s the goal, get you to want to replace our constitutional Republic


Nah, we all feel that way sometimes and life can be a bitch sometimes. A couple old sayings helps. when the going gets tough the tough get going. Don’t think i ever seen anyone that scared of the dentist, nobody likes going to one but sometimes it’s a have to thing. if she gets to hurting bad enough, she will go. nothing hurts any worse than a bad toothache.


No replace.
Just some surgery to remove the evil cancer I have watched infest then swallow whole states.


I know when the oral surgeon started an IV and gave me liquid Valium I didn’t care what he was doing. I too have a problem w/dentists. Like Rick said. When the pain gets bad enough you go see the dentist anyway.


I’m sorry you are going through this. I am in the same boat with the disability AND the government still owes me 11k from last year’s wu hu PUA payments.
Also tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of me trying to just float out in to the lake at 4:00. I don’t’ know how, but somehow i got spotted and woke up 3 days later. I’m not sure the therapist and shrink are saying anything that sticks.
(sorry if that was a hi-jack)
I won’t say any more, but to say I wish you the best.
Maybe you won’t fall through the cracks for much longer.


Don’t Blame, you been drinking? What the hell was that all about?

Willie B, when I get down and feel run over my spiritual advisor makes me write a gratitude list. He says write down everything you have to be grateful to God about. Changes my attitude. A kid once told me that gratitude for him a while back was finding a metal trash can to live in instead of a plastic one.

Prayers and best wishes for you and your family.


Great reply :+1:


So, chiming back in.

Wife has decided to take early retirement next year. She’s done fighting them for disability benefits. All it’s doing is stressing her out further.

Doctor prescribed the kid some pretty heavy downers for the dental work. She thinks those will get her through it OK so we won’t have to drive hundreds of miles and knock her out with a hammer to get her teeth fixed.

Work still has not done my 6 month review. I ended up calling off Thursday night because I’ve got a nasty upper respiratory virus. I went to the ER because I genuinely thought I had another case of Covid. Fortunately I had Friday night and this weekend off to recuperate some and not be contagious. Hopefully the work note from the ER doc will be enough to let me keep my job. They are VERY strict on absenteeism and I’ve been walking a rather fine line due to other issues.

My idiot brother in law has been screwing us around about sending my wife’s share of the money for their mother’s property in Virginia so I haven’t been able to order my PCC setup yet. The cashier’s check is finally supposed to be arriving today via certified mail. (Only 3 weeks late thanks to B.I.L.'s shenanigans.) I’m honestly not holding my breath from watching its movement on the tracking number.

On the plus side, the kid’s grades are back to A’s and B’s where they belong. If she can hold out until semester break, that should get her off academic probation since she screwed around a little too much during her freshman year. She’s finding out college is a whole different ball of wax from high school.

Anyhow, I’m not dead yet so I’ve got that going for me, which is nice. (Apologies to Bill Murray.) I still kinda feel like I am with this cold or virus or whatever it is. I’ve taken enough cold meds and stuff this weekend to tranquilize a horse. But I am alive which is good since being dead sucks. (Unless you’re Dracula: Dead And Loving It.)


I’m glad to hear about your daughter doing better in school and the solution concerning the dentist. It also seems like retirement for your wife is a decision that will move you and your family forward past that stressful situation. I’m praying your work will be ok when you get back. I’ve got some respiratory issues right now and had to miss Friday also. When it’s hard to breath everything seems worse but your post gives a lot of positive to focus on and hang on to. I’ll pray thanks for the positives and help on the work situation. Thank you for trusting us. It’s good to have a place to vent. I need it sometimes and it helps.


all good :hugs:

nice, at least theres that as an option :+1: