Finding Humor in Everyday Things

A place for levity. Real world funnies…

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The Mrs just got home from the grocery store. In the midst of the run on stores due to the COVID-19 pandemic she tells me the following, word for word:

“As soon as they opened the doors people were just loitering around. But not me. I went straight for the meat!

She paused, I paused. We laughed our a$$ off for a little while. God, I love that woman.
:grinning:

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No question as to why you’re with her now is there?

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What did the 0 say to the 8?
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Nice belt.

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ComedyDrumRoll
comedy drum roll

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I might get flamed for this one or called a rassis, but here goes. Quite a few years ago on a street that only had access thru an alley behind the houses, the NAACP rented one of the houses for an office. Right next to the front steps and porch was a sign. “NAACP parking in rear”. I laugh every time I think about it.OH the irony!

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:wink:

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That was on purpose.

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Don’t ruin it for me I don’t flame that often :yum:

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I… nope, I ain’t sayin a word. Too easy

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I thought you liked them easy

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Another one involving the Mrs: I was picking on her (in a joking manner) a little about how the steaks were cooked for dinner. One was extremely rare while the others were all medium-well. I like steak rare, but alas that one was not on my plate! Missing that point of my agitating her, she proceeds to tell me the grill (it’s an indoor thing, kinda new for us -it’s raining outside) seems to not get as hot at the edges as it does in the middle. I tell her that’s no excuse, no excuse at all for such insolence. She then says, "You seem to like picking on me for some reason, you just keep picking and picking until I’m ready to blow!"
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She paused, I paused. We laughed our a$$ off for a little while. God, I love that woman.
:laughing:

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I read that to my Mrs as she has troubles with steaks and I’ve been misreading that all this time

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At work on night of 21st I did a walk through the CCU/ICU unit and there in one of the rooms was somebody covered up, I could just see part of face, I went on my way because I don’t get nosy and look into rooms with patients. On night on 22nd I went through CCU unit again and the same patient was laying in same room and there was about 6-8 inches of clear rubber tube sticking out of there mouth with nothing hooked to it, I was like WTF when did someone die and left to lay out like that ? Then I realized it was the training dummy…I shook my head, called myself a dumbazz about 10 times, told one of the cleaning ladies what happened and she busted out laughing and then told me he was anatomically correct also, so I asked her why she was looking…she just grinned and walked away.

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The other day one of my adult sons asks me if I can come help him move an old chest down a flight of stairs. Proceeds to tell me it’s not heavy just really awkward and definitely a “two hand job”. :thinking:

I’m fairly certain he means “two man lift” and since he’s always been self-conscious about this dyslexic kind of thing where he sometimes uses the wrong word, I only chuckle a little on the inside.

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Maybe you should tell him my favorite dyslexic joke. A man was so down about being dyslexic that he wanted to commit suicide so he jumped out behind a bus.

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